Enough

Having grown up an only child I know what it's like to have everything I want. Even more, when I reflect on my life I cannot recall a time when I had to go without something I NEEDED. I've never had to go without food, water, clean clothes on my back or a roof over my head. I've never had to go without lunch money, new pens/pencils and notebooks, or new shoes for school. I've never had to miss out playing on the basketball team because my family couldn't afford it and I never had to worry about not having a ride if I ever wanted to go somewhere. ...I could go on and on.

Bottom line: I've NEVER been in need, and seldom have I wanted for something I didn't get. I'm spoiled.

I've always known it, but it hit me like a ton of bricks while I was walking downtown to a Reds game this week. Among the several homeless people we passed on our couple block walk from the car to the ballpark was a homeless man I see every time I'm down there. I stopped just to say "hi". Before I continued walking I said, "have a good night." to which he responded, "if I could get some food, it will be a good night."

I've never known that feeling; to be hungry and not know when or how I'm going to eat next. My friend suggested we buy him something to eat. Embarrassingly my initial thought was, "I really shouldn't be spending any money like that, I've got a car payment coming up.

Wow. A CAR payment. On top of that car I've also got; a comfy bed with a nice down comforter, a flat screen TV in my room that is far too big, a laptop and brand new computer, a closet full of clean clothes, a fridge packed with food and a $200 cell phone. All this and I thought twice about spending $5 to buy someone dinner who was hungry. I was ashamed of myself.

I'd like to say that material possessions hold little value to me, but that's likely because I've always had them and take them for granted. I realize how spoiled I am, and over the past couple years I haven't wanted much in terms of materialistic things. But when I pray at night I'm always asking for something. For some situation to turn out how I want it to, for some worry I have to be put to rest, some question to be answered, some direction to be given, etc. Even in regard to these wants I am spoiled. Especially over the past year, God has blessed me like crazy. Not one prayer has gone unanswered. I'm in a place in my life that I never thought I would see. ...and still, every night I pray for something. I want something, I ask for something.

I almost feel as if I'm getting greedy with God's blessings. Truth be told, I have more than I could ever want, need or ask for and I always have.

So since that Monday night encounter in downtown Cincinnati I've limited my prayer requests to one thing: contentment. I want to be content simply with the fact that I have a relationship with the Savior of the world, and He loves me. There is nothing more I should need or want. Having Him is the answer to any and all of my prayers. He will give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4). He has good plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11). If I seek Him first, He will take care of me (Matthew 6:33). He is enough.

After we handed over the Wendy's bag to the homeless man downtown, a huge smile ran across his face. How happy he was over such a simple gesture made me realize something: God has treated me as if I were His only child. He has completely spoiled me since the day I was born. It's past time I stop worrying, wanting and asking for more and start sharing with my brothers and sisters. Recklessly.